The Phillips Factor
Anna Quindlen (b. 1952), U.S. journalist, columnist, author.
Why should all of the mediums and psychics work for the District Attorney’s office as they do on television? Why shouldn’t they also go into reporting?
The embarrassing gaffe of CNN reporter Kyra Phillips has become an instant legend. Rather than listen to the Presidential speech she was covering and would be reporting upon, she instead went to the Ladies’ Necessary with an open microphone and after performing her functions, began to gossip about how great her husband is and how distasteful she finds her sister-in-law as she no doubt primped for her upcoming camera spot, where she would read to us all from her teleprompter, doubtless using small words, to tell us bumpkins what the President had said.
Her remarks were superimposed over the President’s speech and her open mike prompted her co-worker to make this transition on her behalf:
Daryn Kagan: "Alright, we've been listening in to President Bush as he speaks in, uh, New Orleans today. This is the one year anniversary of Katrina making land shore there. President Bush saying if another natural disaster hits, our country. We must, uh, react better than that. Let's listen in once again to President Bush."
Actually, Porcupine thinks she can be very grateful that she was praising her passionate husband instead of complaining about an unfortunate inadequacy. Her sister-in-law, she won’t have to face until Thanksgiving.
Ms. Phillips conduct reminded Porcupine of another prominent reporter with the same surname – our own Frank Phillips from the Boston Globe. Porcupine particularly remembers his conduct during the Republican Convention last spring, as he stood with his back resolutely to the stage, short-sleeved black shirt and arms akimbo, chatting madly with a buddy, occasionally glancing up at the funny folks in the seats, as they made all that noise applauding, while Senator Edward Brooke delivered a genuinely great speech. Mr. Phillips couldn’t be bothered to watch much of Andy Card’s speech, either – just long enough to get a ‘money quote’ so he could pan the speech and convention as boring.
Yes, the Phillips Reporters don’t need to watch events or speeches unfold. With their uncanny psychic abilities, they can tell us what was said and what happened without going to the trouble of actually listening to the speakers. Especially those who are associated in any way with the Bush/Cheney/War for Oil/Axis of Iniquity/Halliburton/Neocon/Texian Speak/Cyborg Party.
After all, we ALL know what THEY’RE going to say. So different from Howard Dean.